Where Are You, Christmas?

Christmas has always been my favorite season of the year.  I love the music, the decorations, the hustle and bustle, the events, and the warm feelings.


Prior to this year the only Black Friday shop I missed in the last 12 years was when I was 39 weeks pregnant with Brandon and couldn't go anywhere because I was a tick about to pop (random Christmas Story reference).   I usually enjoy finding bargains and finding the right gifts for all the family.  I love getting the tree up and the mantle decorated, which would be even better this year with the new mantle.


This year, not so much.

I didn't even try to get up for Black Friday this year.  I finished most of my shopping online very quickly long before Black Friday.  I haven't gotten the tree up and am not even excited about doing it tonight.  I have a stack of presents to wrap and I would rather do laundry.

My son is so excited this year.  This is the first year he really gets the concept of Santa Claus, and everytime we pass a picture, he gets so excited about how he met Santa and what he asked for.  My daughter on the other hand wants nothing to do with Santa but is liking the presents idea.  I showed her Dance Star Mickey online the other day and got very excited so giving it to her on Christmas morning should be fun.

But I simply cannot feel it.  Maybe it is early.  I have tried listening to music as that has worked in the past and nothing.

Instead, I find myself getting frustrated with Christmas.  Since I did my shopping so early naturally it was before everyone else and now I am getting all kinds of "suggestions" about what to get everyone.  Too late, I say, already done.  "But that may not be what they want." WTF!?  So when did Christmas become all about the gifts and not the giving and togetherness, and not to mention the birth of Christ?!?!

Maybe I am not feeling it because I am getting older and my priorities have changed.  I am not seeing Christmas as the presents and material things yet many around me do which is disheartening.  Maybe I am more stressed about money this year than in the past.  Maybe I just have a really stressful year and would rather rest than be bubbly and cheerful.

I don't think that makes me Scrooge.  I would love to sit and listen to a choir sing carols all night.  I think I will enjoy the tree once it is up.  I think I will enjoy Festival of Lights and hope to bring the kids soon.  But I don't know.

I guess I am just waiting to hear the bells!